30s30d: D11
“Cry a Little More”
Prompt: the love you never knew
Submission of Member: Michael B
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I actually kinda did normal-person stuff today. I mean, it was a Saturday, and I still had to work, but... Slept off my migraine and mostly felt better this morning. Drank a bunch of water, had some coffee, and had to work on some administrative stuff for my side(church)-gig, which unfortunately took up most of the day. About 4pm though I ACTUALLY LEFT THE HOUSE and Eduardo and I took the dogs for a walk at the park. It was like 95 degrees though and the optimism and excitement of everyone waned pretty quickly, so we weren't out a super long time, but still!
When we got home, I connected with my next-door-neighbor for a second - we're actually pretty close, but I've been so busy lately I haven't gotten to chat with her for a while. Ed got the grill going and we briefly caught up before I went inside to put together a meal for all of us. (I love to cook, but with everything going on this summer I've mostly been making quick sandwiches that I can mindlessly chomp while I tackle another thing on my to-do list, and I haven't really been in the kitchen much - so this was a pleasant undertaking.)
After eating it was time for me to set down and write. Again, the day left me without much energy to put into writing a tune, which is starting to get annoying... I hope at some point next week I can start to get to this earlier in the day when I have a little more creative momentum to work with.
The dogs barking and chomping their squeaky toys in the background probably removes some of the angsty "what am I doing with my life" caché of this particular song 🤣 but it's cute, so it's fine.
Another early and long full day of work tomorrow... so I'm glad I got like a 5-hour taste of what a weekend-day is like 😭😜
I definitely feel like I'm hitting a wall a bit with these non-stop 12 hour workdays, 7 days a week. I keep thinking if I power through a little more, that eventually I will reach a point where I can catch my breath, but it never happens. I know a lot of it is me over assigning myself, and also my ADHD brain pulling me in a thousand directions - but there's also so much I've been wanting to just FINALLY execute on and I've just been tired of waiting for the timing to be exactly right, so I've just gone for it.
However, I'm going to try to prioritize taking care of myself more this week. All of my carefully curated systems that keep me kind of balanced and on track have totally fallen by the wayside for at least the last quarter (if not all of 2021), and I know I'll see my mental health improve if I can get out of the manic "just-work-more-faster-and-harder" trap that I tend to always pin myself into.
Hoping another night of sleep will do me some good.
Until then -
L
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