30s30d: D13
“Just Pretend”
Prompt: there’s no coming back from where you sent me
Submission of Member: Angela E
Downloads:
I'm so exhausted and today was another (mostly) just terrible anxiety-ridden day. There was a brief reprieve this evening for our community hang on Twitch, and my biggest love and thanks to everyone who made it out.
Because of my exhaustion and how I'm barely getting this in at the deadline, I've been waffling about how into detail I want to go about this song. I think the important personal life plot point that would give this song some context is that I'm in the beginning stages of re-establishing (maybe? I hope?) my 16-years-estranged relationship with my father.
So far things are going well... but I find I'm still holding my breath, still second-guessing and overanalyzing every interaction, and doubting every step I make and every word I say. And truly, after all the years of trauma I'm still kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop, like at some point he'll say "okay so I reached out to you now because: [fill in the blank]" and whatever the fill-in-the-blank thing is is going to be more traumatic and devastating, and I went ahead and put myself out there again for nothing.
I guess that's all you really need to know to give this song some context from an autobiographical standpoint, though I did want to leave it open-ended enough where it could be about a romantic relationship, too.
I actually feel this one is the stronger of the last few, and has a little more impact because of the familial subject that probably a lot of people can relate to.
I'm kind of surprised how many new One Big Dark Room songs we're getting in this sprint, and am hoping we'll get some more fun and lighthearted songs coming soon... I guess we can just consider the songs a mood tracker for this month for me so far!
A reminder we'll have our 8-14 live debut concert tomorrow night. I should have created and sent you the link already but things have been extra wacky the last few days. You'll be getting it in the first part of the day tomorrow. The event is like last week: private YouTube live link starting at 9PM EST.
See you then...
🖤 L
Thank you so much for your support!
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